Post 8 on the 30 Post Journey.
Post 8: Something You Miss.
Oh man, where do I start?! I miss a ton of stuff. I am a big old miss-er! I had such a good childhood-I miss the fun and carefree days of my youth. I miss the house we lived in. I miss how easy life was in high school, having lunch every day with my best friends and DANCING daily. I miss performing and competing with the Drill Team. I miss how SKINNY I used to be (even though I thought I was fat). I miss the thrill of dating Matt, those were some great days! I sometimes miss the freedom of not having kids. Don't get me wrong, I love my kids. BUT sometimes it would be nice to just sit in a quiet house and read a book with no worries on my mind. I miss lots and lots of people. I get attached to people and I think that our existence is all about people coming in and out of your daily life. BUT...I thought long and hard about what I missed the most are the following. I couldn't just narrow it to one, so here are my top 6:
#6 This may sound crazy, but I sorta miss being pregnant. Although it is super tough and I don't want to do it again, it was also amazing to be growing another human inside you. It was neat to feel the baby move so much, well Jamie at least. AND I must admit, I am just a little sad that I won't be having any more kids...(but not sad enough to want to have any more). This picture was taken the day before I had Jamie. This was one of the happiest times of my life, Matt and I worked almost the same day shift and we had dinner together every night, it was wonderful and I miss that time very much and hope to return to it soon.
#5 TIME! I miss time all the time, that sounds funny. BUT seriously-I look at pictures of my children when they were younger and I get sad. Where did the time go? Where did my babies go? I spend lots of money on pictures because I just want to capture the memories! Here was Lauren around the age of 2 and then a picture of Lauren at 4 and Jamie around one.
#4 I have a HUGE family that I love very much but I HATE that they live so far away. I miss my family very much. Here are some pics from the last time I visited, in 2008. Top Left is my cousin Farrah and her daughter Ella and baby Jamie and me. Top Right is my grandpa and Lauren. Bottom Left is my cousin's Jennifer and Jacob and his wife Tierra, and me and Lauren. Bottom Right is my cousin Melanie and Me.
And this picture was taken on Easter Sunday 2008. I love this PIC. My Grandpa up front, my Grandma in the back and just a handful of the cousins on the 4-wheeler. Can you find me? There is always fun to be had whenever we visit. I REALLY need to get back there, I MISS them all!
#3 My favorite, and well, only brother John lives in New Mexico and I hate that! I wish he lived closer. We all miss him very much. Jamie (now-not in this picture) looks so much like my brother-it is almost like I get a daily reminder of him. He just came for a visit and he left today, it was great to see him..I miss him already. The pic below was taken in 2007.
PS...what a little chub Jamie used to be!!
#2 I miss the most what I can not get back. Our dog Dixie! She was such a sweet and fun dog and we only had this little angel for 8 years. Here she is with Lauren, look how small Lauren was, 3 years old. This was taken a few days before she passed:
Here was Dixie (with Pepper) in her prime. She was so pretty! We have so many great memories and lots of great stories of our time with our personality dog.
Here was a family photo..(minus Matt). I was pregnant with Jamie. We knew her time was coming to an end and my sweet sister Ashley came to say goodbye and to snap a shot for us. Ashley and Dixie had a bond, Ashley would fake cry and Dixie would always come comfort her...what a soft heart she had.
#1 BUT the thing that I miss the MOST of all is another thing that I can not get back and that is Matt's mom, Suzanne. She was such a special person. She has been gone almost 4 years and not a day goes by that we do not think of her. I am so thankful for her taking care of Lauren for 3 years and especially for giving me my wonderful husband, she raised them right!
I also miss Matt's Grandma and his Aunt, because when we lost Suzanne, we lost them too.
Well and there you have it. I don't want you to think that I am an ungrateful person because I am very thankful for everything that I have today-but memories of our past make us who we are today, right? Yup. That is what I say. And I also say thank goodness for my scanner that now allows me to share my OLD memories. Ha.
No one in this world can get to me like he does. His smile melts my heart and when he is sad I feel it deeper than anything. (his fits also spike my blood pressure) LOL. I still wouldn't trade him for anything else.
He is such a sweet boy who constantly tells me he loves me. He keeps himself entertained and can be quite easy going at times. He loves to wear his wide assortment of hats. In fact, given a choice between combing his hair and wearing a hat-he opts most times for the hat.
Those sad puppy dog eyes get me every single time! Who could say "no" to those??
He still has chubby cheeks and has a great smile. He very much reminds me of my brother when he was little.
He is very much a little boy. He loves anything "boy" including guns, cars, action heros, sports, etc. His favorite movie is Starship Troopers, which is only slightly inappropriate.
I love his full head of hair, it is crazy at times, but I totally dig it.
We have our own little codes, nods, winks and thumbs up. I can't believe that my baby is FOUR! Where does the time go?! I sure love this little boy!!
