This one is tough for me because I am not really a "regretful" person. I think that mistakes are things to learn from, they are things that make us who we are today. I have made a lot of mistakes, said a lot of things that I probably shouldn't have, and done things that I am embarrassed about...but nothing MAJOR. I am a rule follower and not a big risk taker.
However, when I look back on my life...there is one moment that I wish I could change. It was June of 2003. There was a guy on my team at work that I had known since he was in High school...back in 2000-2001. He had been on my team a few times, we worked well together, he was a good kid. His name was Jeremy. He also just happen to be best friends with my sister-in-law Alex's brother Andrew. Andrew had also worked at Discover Card and I had gotten to know him really well. I had always wanted a nick-name and he gave me one...he always called me "R-Lo". We would tell everyone we were related because we would have the same nieces and nephews one day. Andrew had left Discover Card but he and Jeremy were still best friends and roommates and I would see Andrew frequently at Alex's family functions. SO...back in June of 2003...Jeremy asks me if he could take the next day off of work. He and Andrew wanted to take their motorcycles down to St. George to go visit some girls they had crushes on. I said yes. I should have said no. On their way down to St. George Andrew was in an accident and was killed. This had a devastating effect on Jeremy (who witnessed it all), and on Alex and her family, and on me. I know the accident wasn't my fault and there was no way for me to know what was going to happen...but I always felt a little responsible. I remember attending his funeral and holding my belly. I had recently found out I was pregnant with Lauren and we hadn't told anyone yet. I remember seeing Alex's mom and thinking how hard it would be to lose a child...I was already worrying about the baby I had just begun to love....and freaking out a little bit about how fragile life is.
I think about Andrew often..and how one small decision can change everything. I am not sure if regret is the right word, but if it means a "do-over"... I wish I could go back and say "NO"....and then maybe Andrew would still be here...enjoying those nieces that we share...the ones he never got to meet.
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